#very interesting to witness
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went to a Catholic funeral service yesterday and I was shocked that the priest actually speaks like that??? Like, that specific kind of singing/chanting thing? Like when that was in parody of Catholicism idk why I thought it was part of the exaggeration? Like, they couldn't possibly actually do that, that's part of the joke, no? No. No that's definitely not exaggerated at all, actually. My jaw dropped, I had to fix my face so fast but then the congregation just started chanting back to him. And I'm desperately flipping through the worship aid they gave me and it's not in there?? So the whole room is chanting from memory. Cannot explain the immediate adrenaline that filled my body.
but then the music director said very sweetly "please turn to page 23 for our next hymn 🙂" and we all started singing a nice little song
#very interesting to witness#disappointed that the body and blood of christ is a catholic exclusive activity 😮💨#i knew they actually gave you wine at catholic church 😌 was pumped for that experience 😞 but alas#im a filthy protestant#also want to add that i DID very specifically ask my boyfriend 'so catholic service - anything i should know?'#and he responded “no not really - its just service 😌'
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there is something so, so devastating to me about imogen having spent the past weeks utilizing how much like her mother she appears to be as a way for the hells to gain intel and slip past different situations but how significantly her like . relvin vibes have increased in the past couple episodes. and of course we only have the one interaction with him but the temult dynamic is one of the ones that spins my brain around in knots. there is something very juicy to me about an imogen who can’t escape her mother’s fate because she looks like her spitting image and has her same powers and who can’t escape her father’s fate because she’s also powerless watching the woman she loves disappear.
like relvin in that visit is of course walled off and he’s decades down the road of having seen the woman he loves disappear into the unknown of her powers and what we got of his response to liliana and the idea of helping imogen save her wasn’t unlike imogen’s recent response to laudna. his comment that he always figured that liliana would realize gelvaan wasn’t the place for her, he just also hoped they’d go together when she left is like the domestic small town mirror of imogen’s illogical but real griefguilt about leaving laudna alone by fighting against predathos. i mean relvin specifically brings up that he doesn’t know if liliana was lying to him the whole time about her powers or if she didn’t know either, “it’s a lot to take in at once. you think you know someone, there’s a whole part of their life that they just been keeping secret from you. i was angry. i’m still angry. but you know, a little part of me wants to believe she was just doing it to protect you.“ a sentiment echoed by imogen’s responses to laudna the past few episodes.
and at the end of that gelvaan visit, relvin speaking up enough to tell imogen to “tell her…” but not having anything to say. because liliana made her choice and he knows his words didn’t mean anything before. imogen just watching as laudna shoves a dagger into her own chest, imogen telling her “i’ll always love you, laudna. i just don’t know what to do with it.”
god, in general, imogen who grew up knowing that love isn’t enough. that love is important and it’s a lot, but not enough. relvin and imogen standing with a chasm of grief and a silver locket between them and “i never want you to be afraid of me, daddy” “me neither.” and laudna’s “i don’t like people being mad at me.” and imogen’s “i know.”
because imogen is her father’s daughter. like absolutely with anger at him and complexity in that relationship but silly little cowboy jokes aside, the values imogen expresses are ones that — when not ones born of her experiences with her powers — seem very much contextualized by her upbringing. i mean the ideal life that she dreamt of and dismissed with laudna someday when the apocalypse is over is a small cottage with some horses. relvin lives in a farmhouse furnished for one.
i’ve talked before about how For Me the most fruitful lens for viewing imogen’s story is one of generational trauma, and i think the reasons for that re: liliana are obvious. but i also think that being raised by someone who isn’t privy to the intricacies of whatever haunts their spouse enough that it’s been passed down is another sort of fucked up legacy and i am truly delighted/sorrowed by how messily and interestingly imogen sits at the intersection of these dual temult legacies; one of leaving and one of being left.
#imogen temult#relvin temult#liliana temult#laudna#imogen + laudna#the temults#cr3#cr spoilers#critical role#very slowly tryin to put together a webweave about this but . god laura will make characters with the most interesting family dynamics#and matt will run wild with them and i am left to witness and lose my marbles about it
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Animation commission I guess...
Um... ha-ha, okay, it has been stuck in my head for the whole month, but if I will keep it any more I will explode, I need to busy my brain even more I'd like to take an animation commission. Like, a fully colored, shaded, with lightning, with in-betweens, with the clean line (and background). Up to 5 seconds depending on what you want to get I guess the price may start from 250$ and be higher or less depending on complexity of the details, character or movement (<- of course everything will be negotiated) I never took such commissions before so please be patient with me since I might spend even months ha-ha (really wanna beat this fear of taking something more complex) But I will do my best since it will be first experimental time for me 1. Payment via Boosty after acceptance of the sketch animation (very rough idea) 2. I think I can draw mostly anything (but won't 18+, guro and I can decline something if I feel like I will not like to do it) 3. You must have a reference of the character, I'm not ready to work with something that doesn't have a ref to start working right away 4. Please, properly think of what you'd like to see, I will not make 3 different rough animations of different ideas because you suddenly had another idea ;~;; 5. Note me in dms if you'd like to take commission... (I'd like to move to discord later since it's more comfortable in here) Uh... I have only this as a more or less proper example (it was based on amazing storyboard by yeye23)
Okay, I'll just leave it here if someone really will be interested and will delete if it if it will be decided.... I just feel like my brain is dying if I don't have an enjoyable/stressful more complicated work on a side that demands an attention from me. Have a nice day
#I just...#I have what to do#Plenty of what to do#But it doesn't stress me enough to make my brain work#Such kind of commissions give me both a boost of work and enjoyment because of the process#So... yeah ah my brain is very much lacking it right now#And I think it will be interesting to finally do something complicated again but more properly#from the very beginning#I need an experience while I have time to pay attention to it#commission#I'm still not very confident to take money for these kind of works so I need to understand what pricing is okay for what I'm able to do wit#animation...#*opens the door*#*leaves the stage*#hahhh my dear life why did you give me such a lazy brain...
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Whoever got given the task of animating this smile for the game I think ur wonderful and you did a fantastic job. Look at him. He <3
Guys can I be real for a sec. Can I be so real and ask a strange little question.
Did Shadow ever stop to think that Maria wishing for everyone to be happy included wishing for HIM to be happy? Does he understand that his promise to her goes beyond fufilling a duty to others and is a prompt for him to seek out his own joy in life too?
I hope so.
Shadow has his whole "I do what I want. But. Im also under the guidance of Maria's wish" thing, where he can be edgy enough to be like don't tell me what to do but nice enough to still help save the world n all should the time come. He says he does what he wants, but what actually is that? What does Shadow the Hedgehog want aside from fufilling his promise to Maria? Truly? Does he even know? Does SEGA know? Is that discovery something thats ever been/going to be explored?
Obviously a lot can be and has been implied or stated off to the side in external media like social posts and wikis (and I want to say the comics buuuut i havent read them yet), Im thinkin more about genuine confirmation in game.
If I'm honest, I think I'm really just asking about the future.
Is there a new hope for Team Dark getting closer again? What about Sonic and Shadow as a duo, considering all that happened and how little we saw them interact in the game?
Now that Shadow has had another chance to reconcile with his past, where will the Ultimate Lifeform go next?
There's more of me yapping abt this but it was bc i was rambling in the tags akrjwjf lmk what u think!
#you can take that question as rhetorical if you like but I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks!#ejwkfhkwd sxsg has reorganised my brain frfr im losing it/pos#Shadow is such an interesting character and Im always wondering about what aspects of him sega will deem “worthy” enough to portray him wit#and what gets left unsaid or very lightly implied#he smiled at Maria and i died btw#softest canon look ive ever seen on his face ever.#the whole reason im asking this question actually#is there anything out there that would get shadow to smile like that again?#what brings him so much joy that he would choose to smile if not his beloved older sister?#because YES that smile was a choice. he did not have to smile there that was not an involuntary reaction. he smiled. FOR HER.#anyways im dead i love them sm sob#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#maria robotnik#ark siblings#sxsg#sonic x shadow generations#sonic x shadow generations spoilers#sticks can talk!?#sth#sonic
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Small but significant character moments that I actually really adore are from both the times we see the boys as tots. There is a reoccurrence that happens in both of them that I find so incredibly interesting.
For the turtle tot short, Splinter leaves the boys with weapons. In the short, Raph is the one who suggests they do “what Lou Jitsu would do” and Leo is the one who takes point when Splinter comes back to reprimand them. Leo, in taking point, is the one to defend them and get Splinter off their tails.
And then, in the flashback regarding the Kuroi Yōroi helmet, Raph is the one who grabs and throws “Skully” as a way to replace their missing ball which breaks it into pieces, but Leo is the one who speaks for the group and rushes into action to fix the teapot.
I love this for multiple reasons, but the biggest are how it shows that Raph has always been inclined toward the bold and fun and making the plans to include his brothers in what he loves and believes they’d love, whereas Leo has always been inclined to be the “Face” of the group and shoulder the attention even if it’s potentially negative all while coming up with on the spot attempts to fix the situation.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rottmnt leo#rise Raph#rise leo#I really do love this bit of character writing a ton#again it’s so small but like this is consistent!#little Raph just wanted to have fun with his bros 😭#Leo immediately coming in with the save both times (and more - remember Bug Busters?)#I really love too how none of them pointed fingers like#it was Understood that Leo would speak for them#listen there’s a reason Leo is the Face Man and it’s NOT just because he’s got a pretty face#he can talk both himself and his fam out of situations and I wish we saw it even more because it’s amazing to witness#circling back to Raph his bold nature is something I ADORE about him but I don’t see it brought up a lot which makes me so sad#like this boy is a RAPHAEL he is bold!!#and it’s cute too how the other bros immediately go along with it too#imo the Raph in these tot flashback is the same Raph that glues them all together as a bonding exercise#side note but damn…Leo saves them from punishment in the tot short and immediately gets jumped 😔#but yeah man I think a Lot about the little dynamics between the bros and how those dynamics could have first came into being#Leo being the face of the team and having been it since childhood-#-makes all the moments of immediately choosing to sacrifice himself when HE royally messes up all the more notable#if it’s one bro or the whole group individually he’s more chill about it but often still lets himself be the talker to get them out of it#he will do his damndest to get his brothers and himself out of trouble but once they’re in it he’s in the front with a smile#his own safety be damned#Raph is actually the same in that respect - he’ll jump into danger fists first but all bets are off when a brother is in danger#and like how Leo’s been the face - as the eldest Raph has been the de facto leader of sorts#he’s the one who is shown to make up their games! and I think that’s very cute#anyway their clashing in the movie is so interesting for a lot of reasons but one of them is that it shows how-#-even a longstanding dynamic like Raph and Leo’s that’s WORKED for so long is still susceptible to flaws…and to time
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I love that In Stars and Time gives the nonconsensual kiss a proper horrified reaction, by the way. Most media where a character can kiss someone out of no where either make it a funny thing or the "romantic" thing, but here Siffrin kisses without permission out of no where and Isabeau reacts correctly! He pushed them away! Because thats surprising, and fucked up to do to someone with no lead up and no permission! Isabeau had no context, and at the time when the kiss happened, was under the impression that Siffrin didn't like touch which can have a variety of horrible reasons for it. Not only that but... We don't know what face Siffrin was pulling and I don't think it was a nice one. Which, again, means that we don't have all the context either! This is a horrible event that has horrible consequences and I love that it does. Because it's something that is horrible and objectively one of the worst things Siffrin did to one of the others in the loops, so I'm just!!! So excited it had bad consequences!!!
#Isat#Isat Siffrin#Isat Isabeau#bad touch event#Isat spoilers#I dunno I think it's great commentary actually cause this game has a very big focus on forcing change on others#And how that can affect people who are AceAro of some flavors#Which is so interesting because Siffrin tells Mira she doesn't need to change that part of herself and that they are like her#At least in the ace part. And then they do this? Try to force a change in a way that they had just denounced?? Its!! Interesting!!!#Also don't fucking look at me I'm just getting sad about how many characters get nonconsensual kissed in media#And it's framed as a ''good'' thing#Anyway as a fellow Ace... Seeing Siffrin do that makes me both excited and horrified because I'm sure Siffrin has their own experiences wit#Hearing threats like that or getting harassed about kisses and stuff and the fact that they turn around and do it to Isa...AAAAAHH!! yaknow#I know that parts not canon but fellow aces... You know what I'm talking about! I just can't imagine Siffrin doesn't have at least one#Moment like ours!!! Hhhhhhhnnnnnn
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Guarding your name from the fae in folklore
The idea of fae stealing names is quite recent (I’m a big fan of new, modern folklore, x, y), but the idea that you have to guard your name so no one could (supernaturally) us it against you, is definitely a widespread folk belief. However, I’ve never encountered an actual folktale that says the fae or fairies in particular could have power over you if they knew your name. I’ve been looking for one for a long time (and if you know one please let me know!) but so far I’ve only come up with one example. So let's take a look:
The power of names
Like I said, the power of names is an old belief that shows up all over the world. Sometimes it’s linked with naming ceremonies like baptism. Sometimes hiding the name from others (witches, djinns, etc.) is what will protect you, sometimes the name itself will protect you (like being named after a saint or in reverence of a deity or spirit). Edward Clodd published a huge essay in 1898 investigating how widespread this name guarding practice is and how it links to folklore. Which, while obvioulsy dated, certainly gives an impression of how deep this belief goes (Tom Tit Tot; an essay on savage philosophy in folk-tale, Clodd, E., 1898).
Not all folk beliefs show up in folktales though and protagonists who refuse to tell their name are not a staple of European folklore, whether it concerns fae or other entities. In “The Soul Cages”, collected by T. Crofton Croker it’s even quite the opposite, as the protagonist and a firendly merrow deliberately call each other by their full names (Jack Dogherty and Coomara). And for ages I wasn't able to find a story that actually incorporated the belief of guarding your name against fae, until I read that huge essay.
Hiding your name from the fairies
In his book, Clodd mentions a single folktale in which it is mentioned that the fae are trying to learn someone’s real name. Sadly he does not tell it in full, but since it is the only real example of this concept I’ve able to find so far, I will give the full quote:
While these sheets are passing through the press, my friend Mr. W. B. Yeats hands me a letter from an Irish correspondent, who tells of a fairyhaunted old woman living in King's County. Her tormentors, whom she calls the "Fairy Band of Shinrone," come from Tipperary. They pelt her with invisible missiles, hurl abuse at her, and rail against her family, both the dead and the living, until she is driven well-nigh mad. And all this spite is manifested because they cannot find out her name, for if they could learn that, she would be in their power. Sometimes sarcasm or chaff is employed, and a nickname is given her to entrap her into telling her real name, — all which she freely talks about, often with fits of laughter. But the fairies trouble her most at night, coming in through the wall over her bed-head, which is no laughing matter; and then, being a good Protestant, she recites chapters and verses from the Bible to charm them away. And although she has been thus plagued for years, she still holds her own against the "band of Shinrone." (Clodd, 1889, p. 83-84).
This story fits the concept of keeping your name away from malicious fairies so you cannot truly fall under their power perfectly. Sadly I haven’t been able to find this story in Yeats’ own folklore collection, but it fulfills my criteria even so.
What I have been able to find many examples of, however, is the reverse trope. Namely that knowing a fairy’s name will give you power over them. I thought this only showed up in Rumplestiltskin-type stories, but it seems a little more widespread than that. Which is very exciting to me, and merits its own post. So stay tuned.
#guard your name#fae#faeries#fairies#sources#laura babbles#folklore#irish folklore#I'm very pleased to have finally found a real example#although it seems a firsthand witness account#which is a more unusual way for this type of folklore to present itself#but no less interesting for a late 1800s text
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I disagree with Narrator in a very fundamental and philosophical level, but you know, even if I agreed 100% with his worldview and the reality he wants to bring about, I’d still think he’s wrong for taking matters into his own hands and changing THE VERY FABRIC OF REALITY affecting people in the entire universe, simply because HE thinks he knows what best for the world.
Like– that’s why I find him so fascinating, it’s not only the fear of death or disgust towards the very concept of change (tho that is very funny and interesting in its own right), but the utter arrogance to champion himself Savior of the World without EVER considering that maybe– just maybe, people might not agree with what he plans to do.
Like. Hubris indeed, and he even has the gall to say, “you can still do what you must and kill her” when we call him out on it. Like. Wow. I want to study this guy under a microscope.
#love how he’s like. a perfect example of a greek story protagonist#with a fatal flaw that cost his life in exchange for an outcome he won’t even *be there* to witness even if it works out#while I find what-ifs where Echo grows beyond his original conception and the person he originated from interesting enough to want to#explore it#I also very much LOVE his role as this tragic character whose fate was already decided before the game begins#slay the princess#stp narrator#the narrator#stp meta#sal rambles
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Arya being masculinized, adultified, and having her trauma ignored because people think she's "too strong" to be a victim is such a core experience for young girls of color
#arya stark#asoiaf#Arya is truly such brilliant representation for girlhood...so many things that I can relate to as a Black girl specifically#her being an outcast due to rigid societal concepts of femininity will always be high on that list#(being mistaken as a boy for having short hair is also so Black girl-core)#witnessing the way people perceive her hits different when you've personally experienced the same thing#and why I'll always defend her and Dany against the misogyny people try and wield against them#the irony of fandom wanting to portray her as a poc is not lost on me either lol#nor is the fact that they try to portray her as an unimportant unintelligent prop for their /pure/ white fave in the process#that's why we need to start reclaiming biwoc fancasts...Sofia Wylie as Arya you will always be famous to me!#it would actually be very interesting to discuss the implications of Ned Jon and Arya being darker then the tully-colored Starks#but of course they're only portrayed as such because it makes sense that the /wilder/ Starks be darker...obviously not racist at all 🥴
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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Bitches on tiktok when you say you think Caitlyn was in the wrong for using the smog in the undercity that used to litterally cripple a fair majority of them as a weapon to make cilvilians leave the streets to catch one bad guy and a very clear parallel to IRL police brutality and the fact her mom died and she's grieving doesn't excuse it:
#textpost#seeing bitches with free palestine in their bio saying this is the CRAZIEST part#arcane#her character is interesting specifically because of how it shows how well meaning privilidged people can easily do more harm than good wit#their support and the fact her character and the show arcane is complex doesn't mean you cannot critique the character#also a lot of people are like “what about jinx” she's a random terrorist that not even her own sister supports while caitlyin is a decorate#officer doing this uner cover of law. it's fundamentally hard to put them on the same place#yeah they both kill people but like??? jinx is very much a terrorist with legitemate trouble telling if what she's seeing is true or false#while cait also undoubtledy has a valid mental health problem currently they are quite different from jinx in both severity and symtoms
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sorry to get angsty on main but I really wanna see a crossover fic where Five Hargreeves meets Bruce Wayne and the topic of, y’know, what would you do for your family, the morality of killing in a given context, etcetera comes up. And a bit of dialogue just going like
Bruce: But once you cross that line, where does it stop?
Five: It doesn’t have to stop — they just have to live.
#batman#five hargreeves#tua#crossover thoughts#dc crossover#tua crossover#unironically I think witnessing that interaction would fuck Jason up even more#I also think Bruce would have a ton of complicated feelings about Five#but Five would be so indifferent to him as to border on being insulting#Five would not adopt Jason because he already has a bunch of self-destructive ppl to protect#but they’d have a dynamic of mutual respect#I just think they’d understand each other on a viscerally tragic level#they make eye contact and recognize the strain of loving people who can never love them back with the same insane level of devotion because#that level of devotion IS fundamentally insane#and they recognize the willingness to cross certain lines but no desire to do so but also every reason and motivation that means they do#and then they break eye contact and it never comes up again#jason todd#in the tags lmfao#Constantine would either see Klaus and nope the fuck out or be Very Interested dealer’s choice
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"Qin Zhou's" throat trembled as he quietly closed his eyes, no longer looking at those souls. "I will protect all of you." "Qin Zhou" slowly spoke his promise. In this moment, everyone heard only the promise, but Mu Sichen heard the words that Qin Zhou could not say out loud. "I will protect all of you, so that no divine monster can harm any of you, including myself." Accompanying these words, all of Qin Zhou's emotions vanished. Even desire, even aspiration, even hope — silently, he obliterated them all. All that was left in his soul was that promise. From this moment, he became Him.
ok ok ok I'll admit I haven't read many books that regularly use 祂 ta (the divine third-person pronoun) so maybe this is me 少见多怪 but GENUINELY this was such a cool moment. I almost had to take a lap around the subway car because this was so well done
#I didn't take a lap because I was. y'know. in a subway car. on the way back from work. with witnesses.#still!!! this is making me very !! for reading the chinese translation of orv because I know the translator also used 祂#for the constellations. which. VERY cool#also dream town anon I am starting to understand why you comped this to liehuo and. well. yeah#it's about the (clenches fist) the inherent dehumanization in elevating a person to a divine position. the unbearable weight of being a god#and it's also about your main character's adventures with his cute chibi squid toy. y'know. the good stuff#hunxi book tag#I suspect 祂 is actually a Thing in unlimited flow/genres that actively play with divinity as an element of worldbuilding#distinct from xuanhuan which one might argue is uninterested in its gods being gods — xuanhuan I'd argue is more interested#in its gods being people. but unlimited flow (and adjacent genres) is interested in gods being gods. also gods being monsters.#gods being divine existences that defy human comprehension. gods being eldritch abominations. y'know. the good stuff#(vibrates gently) I'm continuing to learn SO much about this genre and it's awesome#(weakly) I don't even like this genre... believe me...#came for the unlimited flow stayed for the octopus
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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i love that when they're sitting in the crowd in the dreamlands (part 12), John says "everyone is staring at you" in that ominous voice and Arthur says "me?" in a tone that is just surprise without a trace of horror behind it. "everyone's looking at lil ol' me? gosh. guess i better give them something worth looking at" and walks onto the stage with no prompting. social anxiety fears this man.
#malevolent#arthur lester#part 12#episode 12#john on the other hand is very anxious abput being witnessed#interesting. so interesting.#like the presence of other people invading his personal space is a recurring theme#whereas arthur feels more isolated in the absence of others#john has been adopted by extrovert arthur
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guy liker moment
#a doodley#once again very difficult times for the has never been touched community#also recently some fictional men have me questioning things further and its making me sooo miserable#in the sense of like. it wouldnt be enough to t**** a beautiful man i want to be one. too.#i want someone to feel the same way ykwim. eager excited. witnessing beauty. crawling into each others skin.#i want you and i want to wear your face and be desired too.#ugh ugh ugh ugh#i probably wont ever even draw it but the lino piece i want to try making is based off of like. lately...#my skin burns when i see even the imitation of a human body. When i think of it. its so dire#or like i love the human body in general i love studying it bc its so beautiful and interesting no matter what#but i do studies and its like ahh i wanna get closer i wanna get closer im at the zoo i want to jump into the enclosure and get clawed apar#t. (saying this as metaphor bc obviously humans are not things to be owned) but i want my own model to pose and study#closer. and closer. look and touch and examine.#<- 3 seconds away from drawing nefarious shit with talon in this nature but i didnt say that#talkys#🌺
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